River from Firefly: thoughts

In the TV series Firefly, the character River is a teenage genius held captive by the far-reaching Alliance government. Her extreme intelligence is twisted and exploited to turn her into a hyper-intelligent killing machine. The Alliance removes her amygdala, which makes her unable to control her emotions. When her brother finally breaks her out of the Alliance facility, she suffers from frightening mental instability and newly found psychic abilities. She spends most of her time on the alternating between numbness, mental breaks and bouts of astounding combat ability. See the clip below as River, after spending the episode trying just to be normal, instantly switches into kill mode.

It's only once she uncovers the secret that the Alliance was trying to hide, that she can finally recover. Armed with this new knowledge about herself and what happened, she can save her makeshift family from the Reavers (extra-nightmarish zombies, with a side of societal control gone wrong).

Every time I watch this scene, hell, any scene with River from Firefly, it reminds me of how I felt when I was 17. I was a scared, broken girl who was told to be ten thousand different things by ten thousand different people. It wasn't a happy time. But I was smart. And in between those horrible days of trying to remember what it felt like to be normal, I could do amazing things. Granted, I wasn't facing down space zombies, but I could play defense on the soccer field like a terror and kick some academic butt. (Stay tuned for a later post on Pennsylvania Governor's Schools.)

Like River, I had to uncover my own secret. It wasn't anything movie worthy, but it was important. My secret was simple: I was good enough. Good enough to be worthy of love, good enough to make a difference, good enough to deserve good things happening to me.

Sometimes I forget that secret, and I break again, but I always come back. Because I know I'm strong enough. You can't stop the signal.

And you, my fellow bluestockings, are also good enough. You are strong, amazing people and I think you rock. Go be a big damn hero.

PS- I didn't tell you what River found out on purpose. Go watch the movie. :)

Required Viewing: Firefly: The Complete Series, Serenity

Recommended Reading: Serenity: The Shepherd's Tale, Those Left Behind, Better Days

Bluestocking Basics

Bluestocking is 18th century slang for an educated, intellectual woman. The term can be traced back to the Blue Stockings Society of England, a group of wealthy women who gathered to discuss literature and art. However, the term quickly began to mean an old frump who did nothing but read by the fire.
Bluestockings were the original female nerds and geeks. If there were Bluestocking today, they would be hanging out in comic book shops, editing the literary journal, and entering science fairs.
These ladies are my homegirls.
In tribute to them, my beloved Bluestockings, I'm writing this blog. It's a celebration of everything nerdy I love. And I love a lot of nerdy things. Be prepared for some Firefly, golden age romance comics, National Geographic and old school PBS.
To start us off, here's mc chris' song "Nerd Girl." Because I'm wordy and verbose AND can kick your ass like River from Serenity.